Adult ADHD Therapy
Neuro-affirming ADHD support for adults and adolescents in Canberra and online
You’ve probably heard some version of this your whole life: try harder. Make a list. Use a planner. Set an alarm. Just focus.
And you probably tried all of it. Maybe you still do, setting up a new system every few months, which works brilliantly for a week (or maybe just a couple of days) before the novelty wears off and the dopamine disappears and you’re back where you started, wondering what’s wrong with you that you can’t maintain something so simple.
Nothing is wrong with you.
Your brain is wired differently and the systems, the planners, the alarms that might work for a neurotypical person are not designed for your different kind of brain. And years of performing normality in environments that demand a consistency your nervous system genuinely cannot sustain is simply just, well, exhausting.
ADHD is not a focus problem
That’s the most important thing I want to say on this page, because it changes everything.
ADHD is a difference in how the brain regulates attention, motivation, emotion, and energy. It is driven by how dopamine works in your particular nervous system. You can hyperfocus for six hours on something that genuinely interests you. You cannot start the thing that feels neutral, no matter how important it is. That’s not laziness. It’s not a character flaw, no matter how many times you have been told that. It is, however, the neurological reality of an ADHD brain in a neurotypical world.
Yet, the focus difficulty does create real difficulties out there in everyday life: work, school, uni, home, even in relationships.
That isn’t the hardest part
For most adults with ADHD, attention regulation isn’t even the hardest part, it’s the emotional dimension. There’s the shame that accumulates over years of missed deadlines and abandoned projects. It’s the intensity and suddenness of overwhelming feelings. And the criticism and rejection that lands like a physical blow.
This emotional landscape is where counselling lives., and it’s also where a lot of ADHD support stops short. But not here.
If you weren’t diagnosed until adulthood…
…or haven’t been diagnosed at all
ADHD research for decades was conducted almost entirely on hyperactive young boys. The result is that an entire generation of people, particularly girls, women, and gender non-conforming folx – and anyone whose ADHD presented as inattention rather than disruption – were told they just had to try harder, if they were noticed at all. Disorganisation was just a character trait. Anxiety is just normal, right?
Now many of us are in our thirties, forties, and fifties, and starting to finally understand why life has always felt like swimming upstream.
Some have now received a formal diagnosis. Others have arrived at a clear sense of their own neurodivergence through research, community, and a lifetime of recognising themselves in descriptions they’d never been given before. Many recognise themselves in the assessment checklists of their kids.
Both are valid here.
If you’re self-identifying, you don’t need a formal diagnosis to access support. If you’re on a waitlist for assessment, and in Australia that can mean waiting six months or more, you don’t have to wait to start working on the parts that are hard right now.
Inattentive ADHD – it gets missed
A special note on the inattentive presentation of ADHD. Inattentive ADHD doesn’t look like the stereotype. There’s no obvious hyperactivity, no disrupting the classroom, or bouncing off the walls. It’s quiet and internal with drifting attention, difficulty initiating tasks, losing things, forgetting conversations, chronically late. The result is a constant state of low-grade.
For women in particular, inattentive ADHD often goes unrecognised for decades. Elaborate masking and compensation strategies hide what is going on inside. Yet the shame is ever-present and, by the time many women receive a diagnosis, they’ve also accumulated a significant history of anxiety, depression, and exhaustion that turns out to have been driven, at least in part, by undiagnosed and untreated ADHD.
ADHD and autism – the AuDHD experience
A significant number of ADHDers also have Autism, and vice versa. If you identify as AuDHD, or suspect this combination is you, you’ll know that AuDHD comes with its own particular contradictions: the need for routine and the craving for novelty, the hyperfocus and the inability to start, the need for connection and the exhaustion that follows social interaction.
I work with AuDHD clients regularly and understand the specific complexity of navigating both. You can read more about the Autism-ADHD combo and how I work with it on my AuDHD counselling page.
What brings adults with ADHD to counselling?
When ADHD clients come for counselling we might work on:
- The shame cycle: the gap between what you intended and what happened, and the story you’ve built about what that means about you
- Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD): the intensity of emotional pain in response to perceived criticism or rejection, and learning to work with it rather than be imprisoned by it
- Late diagnosis: the grief, the relief, the reframing of your entire history, and the identity questions that follow
- Burnout: the particular exhaustion of years of overextending to meet environments that weren’t built for your brain
- Executive function: not as a productivity problem to be solved, but as an experience to be understood and worked with
- Relationships: the impact of ADHD on partnerships, friendships, and family relationships and how to navigate those dynamics with more understanding and less self-blame
- Self-compassion: building a relationship with yourself that is kinder and more accommodating of your neurotype
- Life transitions: career changes, relationship shifts, the moments when existing coping strategies stop working and something new is needed
- Mental health symptoms: anxiety and depression that intersects with and is often fuelled by unrecognised or unsupported ADHD
How I work
My approach is Humanistic, Person-centred, and Integrative. I follow your needs and use the approach that fits what you bring. Along with person-centred listening, approaches I draw from include Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Parts Work, Motivational Interviewing, and creative approaches.
ACT can be particularly useful for ADHD clients. It doesn’t try to change how you think. It shifts your relationship with difficult thoughts and feelings. For someone who’s spent years at war with their own brain, that reframe can be genuinely liberating.
Parts work is often meaningful for clients who carry a relentless inner critic (the part that has kept score of every missed deadline, every forgotten commitment, every moment of falling short). Understanding where that part (and the many other voices we carry within us) came from, and what it was trying to protect you from, tends to change the relationship with it considerably.
There are no worksheets unless you want them (and my ADHD clients rarely do!) We can talk strategies and systems if you want to, but our focus will be more on the emotional toll that living with ADHD in a neurotypical world has wrought. Sessions are shaped by what you bring and what you need, which will look different every week, and that’s completely fine.
Ready to take the first step?
Book a free 15 minute call
Reaching out is the hardest part. You don't need to have it all figured out, or know exactly what you want to say. A tentative hello is enough.
But, a very important factor in the success of therapy is the relationship you have with your therapist.
I recommend prospective clients book a free 15 minute consultation to get a sense of whether we are a good fit before you commit. There's no obligation and no pressure.
Click the button below to access my online booking page and find a time that is convenient for you. We can speak by phone or video call.
Please note that I only see people 15 years old or over.
Please also check out my FAQs if you have other questions. They may be answered there.
Request contact by email
To contact me via email, please send a message via the contact form below.
A note for practitioners
GP, psychiatrist, psychologist, occupational therapist, allied health referrals
If you're a GP, psychiatrist, psychologist, occupational therapist, or allied health practitioner looking for a referral pathway for clients, I'd be glad to help. I work collaboratively and am happy to have a brief conversation before or after a referral to support continuity of care.
I also accept referrals for self- or plan-managed NDIS participants.
You can reach me directly on 0411 035 820 or via the contact form above.